Im gonna assume that it is directly becuase I keep eating. LOL. confused? I am constantly snacky. I keep getting up with the urge to smoke and I occupy myself by eating. But, I am eating carrots and celery and nectarines and spitz, I am chewing gum and drinking so bloody much water that i am getting up at least once a night now to go to the washroom!

I honestly figured that I would be shelling out for the best weight loss pills i could find at this point, becuase i really want to lose 20 lbs not gain 8!

So dude, losing 3 pounds WHILE quitting smoking is the best thing EVER!

Micah and the boys are sitting down to watch a movie. he keeps teasing them, pretending to hit play but never does. Finally our ten year old must have given him some sort of look because Micah told him “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice” and hilarity ensued. Now instead of watching their movie (X2) they are all three testing their daddy with different looks!

At ten, our eldest is a pretty good kid, he gets little moods, and sometimes rolls his eyes (I fucking hate that!) but over all, he is a damn fine kid. He is unbelievably helpful round the house too! In a few years, the story might change, I might be sitting here reading acne products reviews while he and his daddy argue for real about some tone or other snotty look, but for now, I like to sit here, fooling round on my blogs, checking facebook, and listening to the kids giggle with their dad!

OhMiGawd! The drama!

My brother and his long time girlfriend have broken up. Again. Remember those two? six weeks ago it was all about running to Vegas for a wedding, four weeks ago it was break up time, three weeks ago it was lovey dovey never be apart and today? who the hell knows!

they SAY they are broken up “for good this time” that its over and they are gonna be contacting lawyers, but at the same time, they make plans for getting out together like old times. Uhm, hello? either break up or shut up, but choose one or the other, and do it now becuase i am sick and freaking tired of the drama!

I wanna lock the two of them up in metal buildings (metal ‘cus my brother has anger issues and regularly punches holes in walls) lock the two of them up, together and refuse to let them out until they have figured it all out.

I am SO SICK OF IT

So he said he was coming and we waited and waited, and then I called and lo an behold, his gf of 8 years was pissed off and nope, not coming anymore. then, not even an hour later he called to see if he could stay with me a few days becuase their fight had gotten so bad they ended their relationship.

fast forward. they are back together, and on a wait list for couples counseling. I woke up to my brother asking us over in the evening to play games, i told him absolutely we would be there, and spent the rest of the day looking forward to it!

hubs and I went to a movie in the afternoon and came home to a message from my brother telling us to come round 8:30-9 PM, so I called back to confirm we would be there.

Only, he wasn’t there, his GF was and she sounded PISSED. Fast forward, he calls me back to cancel.

So wtf? she is all happy and chipper to drop her girls off here for free babysitting while they go out on the town, but when it involves me being there she gets mad, starts fights and makes my brother cancel?

One thing i know for sure. the free babysitting? thats done. I will still visit my nieces- at my dads, but if I’m not good enough for HER to be around, she shouldn’t be leaving her kids with me either, IMO.

I wanted to know what physical changes to expect from my body, as well as what psychological challenges i would face.

I found a list of 101 things to do instead of smoking and I book marked it, becuase in the days ahead I may just need it!

On average, a quitter will gain 5-10 pounds during the process, but becuase quitting smoking gives you more energy and clears your lungs, it is easier to exercises so you can lose the gainage easily. A lot of websites talked about fda approved diet pills, but I went ahead and bot a carton of gum, a huge bag of carrots and two bags of celery. I plan of cutting them up into thin slices (not the gum) and having them there, in the fridge waiting for me when I need them

I sure hope i am successful this time!

Since Monday I have not washed the floors, and I have only swept in a sort of kind of way, just to get the largest chinks of plaster out of the way. Why do a big clean when we are just going to be making a mess the next morning?

Since Monday I have watched the piles of dog hair settle in the corners of the room, gathering against the floor fan and molding themselves to the rug.

I’m getting desperate here people, I might even try a hair loss for men product on her! I cannot keep up with all the hair she sheds. We even took her to a groomer to have her hair professionally brushed to get rid of some of the excess hair and it is still so bad!

There is a very real possibility that i might go insane from the hair!

And so, with this in mind, I told my mother and father in law that i had started chantix. They, more than any person I know, want me to quit. So it made sense to tell them, who best to get support from, than the people closest to me who most want me to quit?

Not so much, as it turns out.

Instead I was subjected to a 40 minute lecture on how, in order to stop smoking I need to want it really bad, and if i cannot do it cold turkey, then obviously I do not want it bad enough and I am just wasting my money.

I was told that if i REALLY wanted to quit I would take cholesterol supplement becuase i need more exercises and that if I would only go for a walk a day, my good cholesterol would go to a better level and I would not need to smoke.

FUCK THEM.

I do want to quit, but I am not an idiot. I have been smoking for OVER half my life, I am not ashamed to admit that i need chemical help to break the habit.

I told them becuase I wanted to here “WOOHOO! You can do it!” not a lecture on why I will fucking fail

On July 18th I will wake up and NOT got for a smoke. I will become a non smoker and begin a health savings account. See, each smoke I have is taking a day or more off my life, so by stopping the habit, I hope to save those days I threw away.

I’m going to need support, helpful words and encouragement. I don;t think the road will be easy.

But Im going down it again anyway.

try try again, and if that fails, try again anyway!

My mother in law was over. That was fun.

NOT.

She has just had surgery, what? five weeks ago to get a pacemaker, she should be taking sleeping pills and sleeping, recovering and getting her strength back, but noooooo, she is over at MY house, overseeing MY renovations.

And doing it badly.

Here is just ONE example.

We had to take down the kitchen light, a box florescent deal thingy so that we could go up in the attic and wire the new lights to the kitchen light so they all work on one switch. When they guys put the box light back up, a wire got twisted, then pinched. The insulator stuff that surrounds a electrical wire, it got broken and SPARKS! flew!

Of course the something or other box in the box light was blown and we had to replace it…ooooor we could just take it down for good and put up a new fixture!

I like that idea!

Onto the internet I went. I found one, this one, which matches perfectly the existing ones we have in the entry and the halls, well, not matches, it hangs from the ceilings and the ones in the entry are flushmount, but other then that it is the same one, in fact, after a bit of searching, I found out that they are part of the same set.

So perfect, right?

Not so, apparently. See the new light we wanted to get is a whipping 129 bucks. I figured, personally, that it was a right good deal, but apparently my mother in law got her light fixture from costco and it was only 30 bucks and we should go to costco and buy that one.

Yeah.NOT

Sigh

We left her at the house to watch the kids.

We weren’t gone very long, half hour at the most, but by the time we got back home she had washed the dishes and swept the floors and even started to clean our youngest sons room! When i got back she was in the middle of tossing a pair of ripped up fake blood stained pair of pants! I took them out of the trash and explained that the pants were part of thekids costumes and that we were keeping them becuase we wanted to re use them next year

I checked the trash again, more thoroughly after she had left and am glad I had becuase she tossed a bag of baby clothes – I had been storing the boys “coming home” outfits in our youngest sons closet, and she must have figured that I had just forgotten them in the closet and was trying to help!

Don;t worry, I learned my lesson, I wont be leaving her alone again anytime soon!

(here is the zombie costume that the pants she was tossing belonged to)\